Notice Me
by abovethenightsky
Summary: AU. A year after a traumatic abduction, life seems to finally be returning to normal. So why does Riku feel like he's being haunted by his own shadow? And what happens when that shadow starts wreaking havoc? Riku/Riku Replica, Riku/Sora.


---

_"Let me out, you pervert!"_

_Riku felt as though he'd shattered every single bone in his palm from banging against the cold, unyielding metal bars. His fingers were numb and stiff and refused to do what he told them. Utterly useless. He needed air. He needed out. He wanted to kick down the bars and scream and run until someone found him, out of this dark, dank basement which smelled of mildew and rubbing alcohol, with the smooth walls which made Riku feel like an inmate in an insane asylum. So he fought. He fought against the prison until his hands were raw and his voice faltered from too many yelled curses and too little success._

_His only reward was a glimpse of his captor's smirk as the dim light in the room glinted off of cold, pale eyes, and long, heavy hair. The man turned on his heel and left without saying a word, the pretentious smile never faltering._

_"Asshole," Riku muttered, then called it out to his captor's back. "Asshole!"_

_He sank to the floor, the latest injection already coursing through his veins, making his arms and eyelids feel heavy. His whole body shook from it, from the drugs, from the aching, from all kinds of pain. He wanted to go home, and _God_, he'd never wanted to go home so much. But now he missed his parents. Hell, he even missed school. And his friends. Always his friends._

_Sora. Kairi. Sora. Sunshine. _Sora.

_He needed some goddamn air._

_Ineffectually, he pounded at the bars from the floor for a few more minutes until he could no longer hold his hands up. Then he stopped, and lay with his cheek pressed to the tile, and waited for the darkness to consume him and take this away._

---

"Riku!"

Riku's mind raced back to the present with a nauseating jolt and his eyes snapped open. The sunlight blinded him momentarily: bright, so bright, especially after the lab. He shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair and let it fall back into his face, shielding his eyes from the glint of the sun and from the bright blue eyes which were brimming with concern, trying to scrutinize his face.

"Riku, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he said, but the words sounded meaningless and hollow.

"You are _not_ fine," Sora said pointedly, stepping in front of Riku so as not to be easily avoided. "You were thinking about it again, weren't you?"

Riku sighed and stepped around Sora with ease. "I'm fine," he said coldly.

Sora caught his arm, forcing him to stay in place. Not that Riku couldn't have shaken Sora off with very little effort. He simply didn't want to. But that was a part of another problem.

"It's not going to happen again," Sora insisted. "Riku, it's _not_. He's in prison, Riku. He'll be in prison for years. It's even been a year since it happened. I don't…you shouldn't still think about it. It isn't going to happen again."

He didn't think about it as much anymore. Only every couple of weeks or so. The flashes weren't as bad as they had been. When he'd returned home they'd happen every night, and he'd wake up with a cry on his lips, ready to claw the scientist down. But now the familiar scene only wandered into his mind when he left it unprepared, like when he was walking home from school, seemingly alone, with nothing and no one to distract him. It happened less frequently than before, but more than enough to concern Sora.

Then again, Sora worried about Riku easily. Sora, looking up with his pleading eyes and holding on to Riku with clinging hands, probably worried too easily. And Riku rarely had the heart to tell him off for it, because he would have had to relive the nightmare for longer if his friend hadn't run up out of nowhere.

Instead, he said shortly, "Where did you come from?"

"I've been behind you the entire time!" Sora exclaimed. "I was calling you, and you didn't answer, so I thought—"

"Was there something you wanted to tell me?" Riku interjected.

Sora closed his mouth, looked down, and opened it again. "Yeah, actually."

Riku waited. "Well?"

He saw Sora's Adam's apple bob as he swallowed as he stared down at his feet. Finally, his gaze snapped up to Riku's face and he blurted, "Kairi and I broke up!"

"Woah." Riku blinked, the news shocking him out of his reverie-induced snappiness. "Wait, really?"

"Yeah," Sora said softly.

"But _why_?" Riku asked, his head spinning. "You guys were perfect for each other, Sor."

Sora shrugged. The light island breeze ruffled his messy hair, which in the light shone with reddish strands. "We just didn't think it was working. It was a mutual thing."

Despite himself, Riku felt a bit of laughter bubbling in the back of his throat. He managed a smile, for Sora's sake. "You're both crazy. Mutual breakups _don't happen_ _in nature_."

"You can ask Kairi. She'll tell you the same story." Sora offered Riku a lopsided smile. "It'd been almost two years. We both thought it felt like we were just friends again."

Riku nodded. "You guys had kind of been acting like that the entire time. Like friends. Except, you know, for the sharing saliva part."

Sora punched him in the arm. "You're gross!"

The clouds over Riku's mood were already lifting. "Well, you were, weren't you? You weren't exactly shy about it. Not in front of me, at least." He sighed, contentedly this time. "So I guess now it can go back to being the three of us? Just like the old days?"

There was something missing in Sora's answering smile, but all he said was, "Yeah, just like that."

Flashback nearly forgotten, Riku draped an arm over Sora's shoulder. The younger boy was just the right height for that sort of thing. "You sure you're alright, Sora? I mean, I know that it's weird having a girlfriend, and then…not having anyone."

"Well, I still _have_ Kairi," Sora pointed out. "We're just going to be best friends again." He paused. "And besides, I have you, right?"

Riku squeezed Sora's shoulder lightly. "You have me," he promised. "You'll always have me." He thought for a second, because he meant it, but he was afraid he'd said it a little too strongly, and he didn't want Sora to realize. "Crap, that was just about the girliest thing ever. Don't tell anyone I said that."

"Your secret's safe with me," Sora swore. "God, it's so _warm_. Aren't you glad the rains are over? The beach looks great. We're gonna have to go swimming sometime soon, huh?"

And Riku looked out over towards the ocean which lapped up the shore, and he was tempted to agree—or even offer to drop their school books and take a dip right then, and to hell with the consequences—when a strange shimmer caught his eye, just behind one of the palm trees. He squinted at it. It might have been a piece of tinfoil, stuck in the bark of the tree, or it could have been the sun reflecting off of his own silver hair, had he been standing way over there. But it was probably just the play of light upon the water.

Even so, Riku mysteriously lost the urge to go near the ocean at all.

"Yeah," he said. "Sometime soon. Come on, Sora. Let's go home."

---

"So," Riku said the next morning as they waited for the first school bell to ring. "You've been a free man for eighteen hours. How does it feel?"

Sora had been up late the previous night writing a paper for History, and he rubbed his eyes and yawned, still not entirely awake. "Sleepy," he replied. "But not actually that different. We still talked on the phone last night like we always have."

"Hmm." Riku crossed his arms, but smiled. "Somehow I can't believe that you two actually split. You're much too chummy. Shouldn't you be more 'broken up' about it?"

Rolling his eyes, Sora felt blood rushing to his cheeks. Riku's teasing confused him. On the one hand, it was much better than having him wanted around all dark and broody. On the other, if Riku kept this up, Sora might accidentally let something slip. And that would be very, very bad, because how was Sora supposed to be able to breach the subject of who he _really_ liked when Riku still thought he liked Kairi?

Not that he'd ever be able to breach the subject of who he really liked. Because that was totally out of the question.

"I don't like her!" Sora insisted. "We're still gonna be friends. We still talk to each other. But I just don't _like_ her like her, and she's fine with that."

Riku clapped a gloved hand on Sora's shoulder. It was warm. "Trust me, Sor. I know what it's like to go from girlfriend to 'no girlfriend' in the space of thirty seconds flat. It always feels weird."

"It does not feel weird. Not when it's Kairi." He stuck out his chin. "Besides, I don't even want a girlfriend!"

"That's good," said Kairi, who had approached from behind them. "Because you don't have one." As if to prove her point, she didn't peck Sora on the lips, as had become their morning habit. In fact, despite her joking words, her voice was flat, and she looked oddly serious. "Did you see the morning paper?"

The two boys noticed the rolled-up newspaper in Kairi's hand and exchanged a glance. "No," Riku said. "Why, what was in it?"

Kairi bit her lip. "Something…I think you need to hear. I…" She drew a breath, then unrolled the paper, opened to a page in the middle, and pointed to the title of an article. Sora leaned forward to squint at it.

"'Former Scientist Fatally Stabbed in Prison,'" he read. "That's awful. Was it someone we knew?"

"Oh, _no_," he heard Riku say. When he turned to look, he saw that all of the color had drained from Riku's cheeks. "Not…"

Pointing below the scientist's name, Kairi nodded gravely, and then Sora understood. "They talk about you a bit, too," she said softly, turning the paper back around. "…Vexen, who was sentenced to fifteen years in prison for the abduction and imprisonment of a then-sixteen-year-old boy…the boy was returned to his parents who filed the charges…no permanent damage—"

"How can they say that?!" Sora exclaimed, outraged. "No permanent damage. They haven't seen—"

"Sora, please." Riku's voice was low. "How did he die?"

"The title says pretty much all that they know. He was stabbed repeatedly, and…" Kairi winced. "None of the wounds would have been fatal on their own. They think he must have been left to bleed to death. There was a gag in his mouth…and they don't know who did it. They think it was one of the other inmates, but naturally no one's saying anything."

"And that's all."

"Yes. Well, I mean, they have some guy named Marluxia, who he used to work with in whatever organization he was a part of, talking about how Vexen always was a bit out of his mind—that's in reference to what he did to you—but that's all. Nothing else. It was just a little blurb, but I thought—"

"Yes," Riku said shortly. "I know."

And he turned on his heel and walked quickly out of the front door of the school.

"Riku!" Sora called, running to the door only to see Riku disappear down the street. "Riku! Oh, no, this is _bad_."

Kairi stared after him. "I didn't know it would affect him like _that_. I thought he might be relieved."

"No, no, you did the right thing, he would have heard anyway, I just, agh." He pressed his hand to his forehead and groaned. "_Riku_."

He leaned against the doorframe, heard Kairi take a couple of steps toward him and felt her gently squeeze his arm. "You should go talk to him."

Sora looked up at her dimly. "What, me? Kairi, I barely know what to say to him under _normal_ circumstances anymore. I can't just…"

"Just what? Ask him what he's thinking about? Ask him if he wants to talk about what happened? Because I think he'd be more likely to tell you than anyone else." She smiled at him with pressed lips. "And then once he pours out his soul to you, you can ask him out."

"Kairi!"

She laughed. "Yeah, okay, not the best idea at the moment. But he probably wants someone to talk to. Or maybe just sit with. So _go_."

Kairi accompanied the command with a shove, and Sora had no choice but to obey. "But what if he says '_no_?'" he wailed, only half-joking.

"You'll get over it. Now, go on, Romeo."

Sora wondered if anyone could ask for a less supportive ex-girlfriend. He certainly did.

Fortunately—or perhaps unfortunately—he knew exactly where Riku was headed. Their island. His, Kairi's and Riku's. The one that had been their playground when they were growing up, the one that remained a special, private place now. The three of them had spent many afternoons there, together, talking or playing or building their raft. Sometimes he and Kairi would sit a little farther apart from Riku, a habit which faded after…

After Riku had been kidnapped (and had returned to them) they all sat close together, all three of them, sometimes without even speaking, because just sitting was enough. They'd never asked Riku what had happened, and he had never told them. He hadn't needed to. Not before.

But Sora wanted to know, now. He wanted to know why Riku had been affected so strongly by the death of his tormenter, and he was almost afraid of the answer. But, maybe, if Riku told someone, he might finally be able to move on.

He found Riku sitting by the beach, his eyes glued to the horizon, and, wordlessly, dropped his backpack and sat down next to him. And he waited for Riku to say something. Anything.

Finally, he heard, "He really is dead."

Sora nodded.

Riku's face remained expressionless. "I don't know why I feel this way," he said. "I'm not…I don't feel a thing."

Tentatively, Sora laid his hand on top of Riku's. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked gently, his heart thudding. "About what happened a year ago."

"Sora…"

Riku looked to the side and Sora could tell he wasn't going to answer, so he said, "Fine. Then let me talk a minute, okay? Because…I'm sure that there are some things we didn't tell you about what happened when you were gone."

"Sora." When Riku said his name, it was a strained half-laugh that broke Sora's heart. "You and Kai told me everything I needed to know."

"Not everything." Sora picked up some sand and sifted it between his fingers, wondering if this was the right way to go. "I mean, you know that we took the raft and sailed for the mainland and everything and went to look for you ourselves, because everyone else thought that—that you'd just run away, and they wouldn't believe us when we said you hadn't, 'cause you wouldn't without telling _us_ you were going.

"But when we got there, we didn't expect it to be so _big_. Or loud. Or cold." He sighed. "And for a couple of days we sort of wandered around lost, because we were really just a couple of kids with very little munny and no idea what we were doing. And it was…" He clenched his fingers in the sand. "It was so scary. And no one really believed us. _That_ was the scariest thing of all. The only—we only found one person who did. That nice policeman, Mickey. He said that we reminded him of his niece and nephew. Good guy. Remember him?"

"Big ears," Riku said. "Receding hairline. He was the one who found me."

Sora nodded. "We met a lot of nice people during those three weeks when we were wandering around. And we met some not-so-nice people. And we told you about all of that. But what we never told you was that the whole time we were, I mean, yes, we were determined to find you, but we weren't confident. We were scared and embarrassed, mostly. We were just a couple of kids in a world that mostly wouldn't listen to what we were saying. And then things started getting weird, and, well, then you called, and we found you. You know about that.

"But we never…_I_ never told you how scared we were the whole time, how we were afraid of what might happen. Mostly because it's so hard to say to…to…" _You_. "Anyone, really. I feel like such a wuss, admitting it. But…" He glanced back up at Riku. "Maybe it'll make whatever you need to tell us easier to say, now that you know."

Riku remained silent for a moment, and Sora braced himself. Finally, Riku said, "You know, you _are_ a wuss. But…you're still stronger than I am. You've always been."

"What?" Sora asked, surprised. "Riku, you _know_ that's not true. You've always been taller than me, and older, and stronger, and—"

"I don't _mean_ it like that," Riku said. "You and Kai. You went through…in a way, you went through more than I did. You're fine."

Without realizing he was even doing it, Sora laced his fingers between Riku's in the sand. "What happened, Riku? You can tell me. I promise I won't think anything about it. I'll even forget if you ask me to. Just…I think it'll help."

He shouldn't have thought that Riku would have told him anything. Throughout the entire process, he hadn't divulged any information other than the barest facts, not to his parents, or the lawyers, or to that therapist his parents had hired. Nothing more than a shrug or a nod or a "Yeah, that's all. Can I go now?" and then he'd pretend he was alright.

But Sora knew about the dreams and the flashbacks, and he knew that everything wasn't alright. So he dared to ask.

Even he was a bit shocked, however, when Riku drew a long, shuddering breath and said, "Nothing…happened. I mean, the most traumatic part should have been the beginning, when I was just walking down the street and some random guy I'd never met before came up to me and asked me if I was Riku, was that my name, and when I said yes he just—he jabbed a syringe into my arm and that was that. I tried to run, but I didn't get very far before I blacked out."

Sora, who hated even routine shots (something he'd never admit to), shuddered.

"When I woke up I was in a cell in a basement. I don't even know if it was his basement. It was definitely underground. Dark, damp, no windows. But even so it felt sort of like a surgical room. And that's where I spent the next three weeks. Alone, down there, wishing I could see the sun, wishing I could see you…you or Kai, instead of that awful face of his.

"He told me, at the beginning, that I was part of an experiment. He said that he'd heard that children from Destiny Islands grew up healthier than most other children, and that's why he'd traveled there. To choose one. And, apparently, when he saw me…"

He trailed off, and Sora prompted him with a "Yes?"

"I was perfect. He said _I_ was perfect. The perfect 'specimen,' he called me. That disgusting man." The hate in Riku's voice alarmed Sora, but he could understand it. "I wanted to kill him. I never found out what I was perfect _for_, even. It sounded like some kind of scientific rationalization for an obsession with me. Back then, I was stupid and egotistic enough to accept that someone would obsess enough to…kidnap me, and maybe even…yes, Sora, it scared the _hell_ out of me, but mostly I was just angry, and I couldn't do anything about it, because of the drugs, and because he was on the other side of the damn metal bars."

"What did he do to you?" Sora asked, feeling queasy. It was the one question he wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer to, because if Vexen had _dared_ to…Sora leaned his head on Riku's shoulder and waited while his friend stared at the waves.

"Nothing," was the answer. "Sora, he didn't do anything. He didn't lay a finger on me. He kept…he kept asking me for samples. Hair samples, blood samples, saliva samples, semen samples—"

Sora laid his other hand on Riku's forearm. "Ew. Did he watch while you—"

"No," Riku said. "For that one he left the room. For the others…I told you he didn't touch me. Not even to draw blood. He handed me the needle and told me how to do it myself, then watched to make sure I got it right. All in that awful, dead voice."

"That sounds terrible," Sora whispered.

"I told him I wouldn't do it, at first," Riku replied. "And he didn't feed me. My mind was clearer during those days, because the drugs were in the food and the water he gave me, but eventually when I was hungry enough I had to give in.

"And that was that. It continued that way for three weeks. Eventually I figured out how to break out of the cell, and called the police. Your friend came to pick me up, and that was it. And they arrested him and took him away, and he was raving about his experiment and—you were there."

Sora nodded. He'd never forgotten how pale and thin Riku had looked when he'd emerged from that basement, how he'd had a blindfold over his eyes because they were so sensitive to the light. Sora had been afraid to touch him because he looked so…it was an odd thing to say about Riku, but he looked fragile. Riku had never looked fragile before and he'd never look fragile again.

"I think you were strong," Sora said. "You broke out of your cell yourself. They said you tried to steal and destroy his notes, too, but he caught you. And after _three weeks_ alone, that's a lot."

Riku shrugged. "I kept waiting for him to rape me or kill me. He didn't do either. I wasn't sure what else was there for me to do."

He lay back down in the sand, silver hair falling into his eyes. Sora followed and settled his head on just above Riku's shoulder, still holding Riku's arm. If Riku minded, or even noticed, he didn't say. In fact, after a minute or so he turned on his side and wrapped an arm around Sora's waist, tucking Sora's head against his chest, under his chin.

"Thank you," Riku said. "Sometimes I think that you're the best thing in…never mind. Look, don't tell anyone what I just told you."

"Why?"

"I don't…do this very often. I don't talk about it. These events. I mean, it's in the past. I can't do anything about it. I don't know why I still think about it, and I hate it. I think clinging to these memories makes me weak."

"I don't," Sora said. "You're not weak at all." He paused. "Do you think you're going to be alright? Ever?"

For a moment the only sounds Sora heard were the rushing of the waves and the soft, slow beating of Riku's heart. "He's dead," Riku said. "And that's a relief. But sometimes I still feel like I'm being followed."

Sora blinked. "What do you mean, 'followed?'"

"I wish I knew. It's as if a part of him…I think I hear footsteps behind me on an empty street, or a shadow from behind a tree. But when I look, it's never anything. It's so _stupid_." Sora's heart ached at the anguish in Riku's voice. "And I hate it so much. He's dead."

"He's dead," Sora agreed. "And even if he wasn't, you're strong enough. And you've changed. You might not have known any better then, but you do now. You're different." The light glanced off of his watch. It was the first time he noticed it. "Oh, shoot!" he exclaimed. "First period's almost _over_."

"We don't have to go back," Riku said into Sora's hair.

"That's so like you to say," Sora said, "But I have a _math test_ second period, and my mom'll kill me if—"

"We'll go back at lunch, then. You can make it up. Just…" Riku drew Sora closer into his arms. "Let's stay like this for awhile."

"Alright," Sora said, adding a grumble to his tone even though he didn't regret it at all. "You're explaining to my mother if I get a call from the school."

"Mm-hmm." Riku traced patterns up and down Sora's arm with his fingertips. "Sure thing. Your mom loves me. 'Oh, that Riku, he's so tall and strong and handsome! What a good influence on my young, impressionable, and rather wimpy son. I'll bake him cookies.'"

"Shut up! She's only said that once!" exclaimed Sora, who was glad Riku was returning to his old self. "But she's right, though. I'm…lucky to have you, Riku."

The minute he said it, he cringed, waiting for Riku to laugh it off as sappy, stupid, sentimental drivel. He meant it. God, he meant it in more ways than Riku could possibly _know_.

But instead of joking, Riku just said, "I'm lucky to have you, too, Sor," and squeezed Sora a little more tightly. Sora was more than content to let himself be held.

Neither boy noticed the envious pair of eyes watching them from the shade of the palm trees.

---

Riku felt much better after sleeping, even though he and Sora hadn't meant to fall asleep. They simply had. The sun was warm on his face and Sora was warm in his arms and that was all it took for the world to feel right again.

Sora. Sunshine. _Sora_.

Not that Riku would ever tell Sora how he felt. Not now, at least. Sora had just broken up with Kairi and it would be too soon to talk for awhile. But Sora hadn't pulled away from Riku today, and he might not pull away tomorrow. He certainly cared about Riku, but was it enough?

Or did it even matter? Wasn't it enough to be held by Sora, touched by Sora, understood by Sora, just as friends? They understood each other much better now than they had before, and it helped wash away all of those dark, festering feelings Riku had kept locked inside of him for the past year.

Because Sora was right. Riku _had_ changed. And for the better.

He'd started _wanting_ Sora when he was fifteen, but hadn't really loved him until after the abduction, when he hadn't been able to see anything because of that stupid blindfold (and he'd only wanted the sun) but he _felt_ Sora cling to him and promise him everything was going to be alright. And Riku knew that _Sora_ was the perfect one. And that made everything worthwhile.

So he smiled to himself as he walked home for the first time in a long time, remembering Sora's adorable panic attack when he woke up and found that _Ohmygodit'sactually2intheafternoon_. Few things could get Sora worked up like that. The wrath of his mother was one of them.

But it was alright, because Riku had handed Sora over to his mother and after what had happened the previous year no one had the heart to tell Riku off for anything he did or was partially responsible for. It was of note, however, that Riku was not offered any cookies.

But that was alright. He didn't really need them.

Riku shook his head and sighed and smiled again just thinking about it, then stopped, thinking he heard a rustle from the side of the road. He turned, but there was no one there. Nothing besides houses, and bushes, and yards, and trees.

"You can't bother me today," he said loudly. "Why don't you go find someone else to annoy?"

Behind him, he heard a soft laugh, and he whirled around. Again, nothing. So he kept walking, listening very carefully. He was sure he heard someone else's footsteps in the soft earth of the road. Despite what he told Sora, he knew that whoever had been trailing him was not some leftover figment of his imagination, one that thought that Vexen was out there. He hadn't wanted to worry the boy. But his stalker was real, he was almost entirely convinced.

"Look," he said, continuing to walk down the road. "I'm sure there are other people who would appreciate this kind of attention. Go find one of them."

"There is no one else."

The voice was low and male and oddly familiar. Riku ignored it, but braced his body for a fight, clenching his fingers and planting his feet into the ground with every heavy step. "Sure there is. There are a ton of other people. In fact, some people might be egotistical enough to be flattered by their creepy stalkers."

"You're not?"

"I'm not," Riku said, his voice equally low. His fingernails dug into his palm. "Not anymore."

"How unfortunate." He could hear the sneer in his stalker's voice. "You used to be. Should I hold out a hope that you're still narcissistic?"

"What the hell kind of question is that?"

"Why don't you turn around and find out?"

Riku did, preparing to take his attacker by surprise with a punch to the face. What he saw, however, disarmed him.

Only inches from his face, a familiar mouth quirked into a smile.

"A pleasure to finally meet you, Real Thing."

---

**_A/N:_** So much _Kingdom Hearts_ lately. My friends are about ready to throw me out a window. Oh well.

Warning: Contains, um, wierdness, sexual themes, narcississm, and some noncon. But later. This first chapter was fairly tame, no? And not much Riku Replica (Repliku) in it either. Ah well. You all need to know how the Repliku was born...

Glad to be the second fic with that crazy pairing in it! Reviews equal cookies and faster updates.

Reviews are much appreciated!


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